Amazing on how quickly an emotional state can do a complete one eighty. 

Today’s been a good day.  I’ve been productive with work assignments, managed to sneak a quick surprise visit in to see my wife while she was/is at work, got to travel out of town for a little bit and had a fun conversation with my oot client.

And I’m not trying to brag, but I even managed to do a good Samaritan deed for a lady and her 5 year old in the midst of this heavy heat.  So how is it that in the past 5 minutes I have felt this incredibly heavy weight on me?  A weight that is borne of a sense of depression and a complete and utter lack of enthusiasm.  Really, what do I have to be depressed about? 

Tonight is the kick off of D-Groups at church.  I’m looking forward to seeing the kids again tonight, hanging out and just relaxing this week before we start getting into studies.  I should be super excited to see all the TLC volunteers, the kids, my fellow leader Mike.  And I am in a sense, I just can’t seem to convince myself of that.  If that even makes sense.  It’s like my mind is excited, but my body just wants to curl up in a little ball in a dark room and avoid everything and everyone.

But I know that despite that near overpowering urge, I will change clothes in a little, feed my dog and take him for a walk, then drive to church and enjoy hanging out.  And I will honestly enjoy the hanging out time.  I’m just going to put on my happy mask because I know that otherwise, I won’t look like I’m enjoying myself.