Amazing on how quickly an emotional state can do a complete one eighty.
Today’s been a good day. I’ve been productive with work assignments, managed to sneak a quick surprise visit in to see my wife while she was/is at work, got to travel out of town for a little bit and had a fun conversation with my oot client.
And I’m not trying to brag, but I even managed to do a good Samaritan deed for a lady and her 5 year old in the midst of this heavy heat. So how is it that in the past 5 minutes I have felt this incredibly heavy weight on me? A weight that is borne of a sense of depression and a complete and utter lack of enthusiasm. Really, what do I have to be depressed about?
Tonight is the kick off of D-Groups at church. I’m looking forward to seeing the kids again tonight, hanging out and just relaxing this week before we start getting into studies. I should be super excited to see all the TLC volunteers, the kids, my fellow leader Mike. And I am in a sense, I just can’t seem to convince myself of that. If that even makes sense. It’s like my mind is excited, but my body just wants to curl up in a little ball in a dark room and avoid everything and everyone.
But I know that despite that near overpowering urge, I will change clothes in a little, feed my dog and take him for a walk, then drive to church and enjoy hanging out. And I will honestly enjoy the hanging out time. I’m just going to put on my happy mask because I know that otherwise, I won’t look like I’m enjoying myself.