Scared out of my wits

Let me start out by saying that I am not trying to preach. I’m not asking you to believe the same things I do. What I am asking is that you simply believe that this is what I believe to be true.

First, I need to explain why I am writing this post. It’s not to convince you to believe like I do.  It’s not meant to change anyone’s perspective on life and everything. It’s not to look for sympathy or anything like that. It’s meant to just help me deal with trying to organize my thoughts about what happened, to deal with it by just writing the events down and get them out of my head.

I know that as I describe what happened, some will say it was just a nightmare, or even a night terror. It was the result of eating too late, or perhaps watching something that came up in my dreams. If that’s what you believe to explain my experience, that’s fine. Just know that for me, as I describe last night, what I write is truth to me. I was there, it’s what I experienced. It’s true for me.

With all that in mind, let me describe what scared the hell out of me last night (and I would like to believe that isn’t stated as a bad word, but more of a truth). And sorry it’s such a long post, but there’s no real way to condense it down and still get the relevant details out.

Levi had gone to bed around 7ish last night, Danielle had begun falling asleep on the couch. I convinced her to go to bed around 9ish, and shortly thereafter I heard her snoring (lightly) and knew she was out.

I watched the latest episode of “Once Upon a Time” while snuggling on the couch with my two pups. It was a good episode, dealing with Gold trying to keep Gideon from using the darkness to get his revenge against the Black Fairy. 

A little before 10, I ended up eating a small piece of pie to get something on my somewhat empty stomach. This isn’t unusual, getting the grumbles later in the evening. I’ve done it before and not had any kind of ill effects. Again, I laid back down on the couch and snuggled with my pups, turned on a cable news channel, and proceeded to fall asleep myself.

Realizing I was out, I woke, got the pups in their cages, and went to bed. This was about 10:30, give or take a few minutes.  Here is where things took a turn for the worse for my night.

Somewhere in the progress of the evening, I began to realize that Levi was making fussing noises, as if he was trying to wake up. He sleeps in a crib at the foot of our bed, which essentially put him between me and the bedroom door (which was closed tight, btw). Danielle was of course, sound asleep and snoring gently next to me.

Small side note here.  I snore WAY worse that she does. I just know that she’s deeply asleep when she’s snoring.

Anyway, so she’s sleeping next to me, he’s at the foot of the bed, fussing, and I know, for a fact, I heard a voice say, “Drew, come here.” This wasn’t the weirdest part of the encounter.  The fact that it was Danielle’s voice is what was weird. Levi’s fussing made me aware enough of Danielle’s snoring that I knew she couldn’t have asked me that. (For the record, in the five years we’ve been married, Danielle has never once talked in her sleep nor projected her voice, let alone done both at the same time).

I said, or thought really loudly, “Eh, no.” I knew that acknowledging that voice and doing what it asked was NOT the right thing to do. Immediately I felt a great pressure – how to describe it – begin to cover me like a shadow crawling up my body (fully covered by my blanket and quilt). Shadow is an appropriate description, I guess, as I could no longer breathe. It was a physical weight pressing down on my.  And my vision (I’m not sure if it was my dreaming vision or if my eyes really were open at this time, but in either case, I could see the nightstand next to my bed) began to darken.

Gathering as much strength and courage as I could, I “shoved” the “shadow” off my back and away from me. Immediately, I began to feel a bit better, I knew I was fully awake, and I knew that something had been in the room with us. Yes, the door was still shut and the alarm system had NOT been triggered. Danielle was still asleep, and Levi was beginning to calm down. I did get up to check on him, and put his pacifier back in his mouth. He was back to sleep immediately.

I laid in bed, wide awake, and just prayed for long minutes. I was able to eventually go back to sleep, happy to write this off as a bad dream, except for what happened almost exactly an hour later.

This time I was dreaming. (Again, as a side note, I generally don’t dream. Okay, not exactly true, as I understand it everyone dreams. I just don’t have a tendency to remember my dreams, ever.) In my dreams, there was some strange issue with unwanted people trying to get into the house. This should have been clue #1 that something about this dream was a warning. Eventually after keeping everyone out, I was able to get into bed, in the dream, with Danielle. And that’s where it got worse for me.

I can’t explain exactly what happened next. I remember reaching out to grab Danielle’s arm, but it wasn’t her arm. Her arm fell back to her side, but I was still holding onto an arm, only it wasn’t an arm. The best I can describe what I was seeing was an arm shaped mist that I should have passed through, but instead was able to get a solid grip on it. And Lord in Heaven, I wish I hadn’t.

Suddenly I was struggling desperately with the mist form being. I truly believe that at this point in time, I was suddenly and very unwelcomingly involved in a physical battle against a demonic force. I am unable to explain clearly how I knew this, or even why I knew it. I just knew that it was evil, and I was fighting for my life.

Once again, I can not explain how, or why, but I was able to somehow evict the being from my presence. This only happened after I felt something physically touch me on my backside. And before you say it was just Danielle, let me say it couldn’t have been for two reasons.  One, I was on my side with my back on the opposite side of where Danielle was sleeping, and 2, when I jolted upright, she was laying on her back and couldn’t have possibly reached over me. I nearly screamed out loud, clamping my mouth shut quickly enough to keep from waking Levi. Who I realize is calming down from being fussy again, something that I was hearing in my dream (nightmare?) but wasn’t able to associate with Levi.

I awoke Danielle, told her a little about what I’d just experienced (both encounters), and spent the next 15-20 minutes praying heavily and whole heartedly. We were able to get back to sleep, and I had no other encounters that evening.

So, was I really in a fight with a demon? Was there something actually in the room trying to convince me to go with it out of the room? You may not believe me and think no, no way. I’m sure there are some reading this that would say that medical or psychological explanations exist for everything I experienced. And that may be true. But in my mind, and in my heart, the answer is a resounding yes. These events happened, and I do honestly believe that is was a form of spiritual attack and struggle.

Believe what you will, but strange encounters like this aren’t exactly new to me.  They aren’t common, thank you God. But they have happened to me at least three times in the past, to varying degrees of personal terror and discomfort.

I do happen to believe, thanks to this experience, that young infants are very much more aware of certain things than we adults. I believe that because of his pure and innocent spirit, Levi was very sensitive to what was happening to me, hence his getting fussy until things stopped happening. Are babies more attuned to the spiritual world? Why not. Who among us hasn’t seen a baby having a “conversation” with themselves.  Who’s to say they are talking to themselves? Why can’t they be talking to spiritual beings that we, who are no longer pure and innocent, can no longer see?  All I know is that during the first encounter, Levi’s fussing helped keep me grounded and somewhat aware of the environment. Just another reason to love that boy.

Needless to say, Tuesday at work was a “fun” day. and trying to go to bed tonight will be…interesting.  I’m a little apprehensive, to say the least. So if you are the praying type, pray for God to watch over us and give us restful sleep. If praying isn’t your thing, but sending “good vibes” or “good thoughts” is your thing, keep us in mind tonight as we sleep.